20 January 2009

The Butter-Cutter On Renaming The Dept. Of The Navy & . . . 

Approaching The Butter-Cutter, I called out, “Isn't it great? Representative Walter Jones of North Carolina is again attempting to rename the Department of the Navy, the Department of the Navy and Marine Corps. He argues that, '[The CMC and the CNO] are equivalent parts of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and it is time to recognize their equal status.' I wonder how the rank and file could help him in this effort?" *


“That's easy. Everybody oughtta write their Congress-Maggot 'n' tell 'em, 'If ya don't support this change, the Commandant's gonna shave yer freakin' head, stick a rifle in yer graft-grabbin' hands, 'n' send yer miserable ass ta Afghanistan!' How's that fer . . . Ohhhh! Ohhhh!” The Butter-Cutter said while dropping his head, grabbing the steam table, and slowly sinking to his knees.

'What's wrong? Are you sick?' I asked.

“No . . . No! I'm OK,” he said in standing up. He then continued, “On top o' what I just said, that renaming gotta be fixed a little: It should be the Department of the Marine Corps 'n' Navy 'n' not the other way around. Don't 'M' come before 'N' in the alphabet? OK, then, Marine Corps should come before Navy in the title,” he argued.

“You're really pushing it and your logic isn't germane. Anyhow, I would be happy with the Department of the Navy and Marine Corps,” I answered. 

'”What's German . . . pushin'?!? OK! How about United States Marine Corps logic that the Corps is older than the Navy 'n' that fact should be recognized by havin' its name first just like it's recognized in troop formations with the Navy: Marines fall-in on the right side of the line--the senior position,” The Butter-Cutter countered.

“Hhhmmm, now you have a point,” I had to admit.

“Hey, man, it's all about seniority 'n' respect! The Corps should . . . Ohhhh . . . Ohhhh! OH, MAN, TWO CALLS!” The Butter-Cutter said while again sinking to his knees and shaking his head back and forth. 


It was a good 10-15 seconds before he straightened up and said, “Oh man! Oh . . . it ain't nothin', man, NOTHIN'!” 

“Nothing? Twice in the span of . . . what? . . . five minutes, you moan and go down almost fainting and you say NOTHING? What is it?” I demanded again.

“I told ya, NOTHIN' 'n' NOTHIN' it is! Now, lets get back ta the renamin' shit!” he said in dodging the issue.

“Yes, as you said, it's a question of respect and if Marine Corps is added to the Department of the Navy name, regardless of the sequence, I think it satisfies that criterion.”

“Well, after thinkin' about it . . . No! Addin' Marine Corps ta the name ain't good enough. The Marine Corps should have its own department. Yeah, that's what the change should be: The Department of the Marine Corps, period! THEN the Corps would be equal ta the rest o' them Pentagon Spear-Chuckers!” he said with a smug look on his face. 

“A separate department? No way! On the other hand, it is an intriguing thought,” I mused.

“ 'In-treegin' thought?' It ain't got nothin' ta do with trees! it's all about EQUALITY! 'n', a separate department makes us EQUAL--that's GOOD SHIT! Ohhhh . . . Ohhhhh . . . OHHHH!” again The Butter-Cutter grabbed the steam table as his body sank behind it. “OH, SHIT! Another call! Ohhhh! OHHHH!” he moaned as he hit the deck. “OH, MAN! 'A 3-CALL,' 'A 3-CALL!' ”

“What in God's name is going on, and DON'T tell me nothing?” I demanded.

The Butter-Cutter slowly pulled himself up holding tightly to the steam table and said, “My cell phone. I got three calls in a row,” he answered. “Man . . .  That's almost too much!”

“YOUR CELL PHONE?!?” I shot back. “I didn't hear any cell phone. What are you talking about?” I pressed further.

“Ya can't hear it. It's on vibrate,” he answered.

“I don't understand how your cell phone could bring you to your knees.”

“Well, it's like this. The Mess Sergeant don't let us have cell phones on the Chow Line. So, some o' us put 'em on vibrate 'n' stick 'em in our skivvies. When somebody calls, the thing vibrates 'n' it's an . . . 'OH GOOD SHIT!' ” he explained.

“Cell phone in your skivvies?!?” I don't believe this. You have been getting your cookies off as we were talking? That's SICK! SICK! SICK! I . . . “ groping for words, I blurted out, “ENOUGH! GOOD BYE!” and turned to leave.

As I walked away, The Butter-Cutter laughingly shouted out, “Call anytime 'n' LET IT RING!” 

Semper . . . 

Anthony F. Milavic

Major USMC (Ret.)  


 Waddaya think?

(10 Thinks)

Master Guns said:   January 20th, 2009 6:22 am

Good idea, long overdue, hope Representative Jones keeps pushing until it happens. After all, it's one sure way to keep the Corps in the Department of the Navy instead of moving to the Department of the Army as MANY would like to see happen. ~~ Semper Fidelis!!!

sniperbait66 said:   January 20th, 2009 7:07 am

The Butter-Cutter is right. It should be the Department of the Marine Corps. With it's OWN Budget, it's own NAME and a new chapter in it's history. The Department of the Marine Corps Oathe had better be to the Constitution and the People of the Republic. No damned mention of the Democracy other than as: A Democratic Republic as the founding Father's would have it. If that British Bastard thinks he's going to re-write the Constitution in his own Muslim Image he'd better have a War on his hands in a New York Minute. The East Coast is where the Constitution was born, the MNarine Corps was born in Tun's Tavern. We cannot, nay, WILL NOT betray the Founding Fathers by allowing a foreign National to take control of what is OURS. DON'T TREAD ON ME! You phoney, un-American, Muslim piece of sh*t! Liberty, or Death to the Usurper! SEMPER FIDELIS THE REPUBLIC THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!! DOWN WITH ALL DOMESTIC TRAITORS CALLING THEMSELVES SENATORS AND CONGRESSMEN/WOMEN, SUPREME COURT JUSTICES AND ABOVE ALL THE NAZI/MUSLIM/COMMUNIST ANTI SEMITIC MEDIA

RED DOG said:   January 20th, 2009 12:47 pm

I'll go along with the Corps being its own department. All the others stand alone as departments to include the Coast Guard and we all know itâ??s a Navy. Even when the President issues directives, the other services, in this case the Navy and Coast Guard, make sure to include statements that they remain a separate service. Read the below Statement and pay close attention to the double quotes. I think those higher in Rank in the Corps should be pushing for this instead of worrying what we Marines stick on the bumpers and windows of our vehicles or pushing policy of when Marines may salute our Red, White and Blue. Itâ??s the old cat and mouse game of; I'll get you looking over here while I slip you, or let you be slipped, the weenie from the other side. Don't question me, I'm in command!... I think the Major should have whispered I love you to the Butter-Cutter and invited him outside for a smoke. OK Major, Iâ??ll grab myself twentyâ??. A Joint Navy/Coast Guard Policy Statementâ?? CONCEPTâ??. In December 2004, the President issued the National Security Presidential Directive (NSPD-41)/Homeland Security Presidential Directive (HSPD-13) which directed the Secretaries of the Department of Defense and Homeland Security to lead the effort to develop a comprehensive National Strategy for Maritime Security (NSMS). In support of these directives, the Navy and Coast Guard commit to shared purpose and common effort focused on tailored operational integration of our multi-mission platforms, infrastructure and personnel. This synergy enables operations across the entire spectrum of America's twenty-first century maritime security responsibilities, from the homeland into the global domainâ??. ""While we remain separate Services"", we recognize that full cooperation and integration of our non-redundant and complementary capabilities must be achieved as noted in existing shipbuilding memorandums of understanding. 

Henry W. (Bill) Buss said:   January 20th, 2009 8:37 am

Three excerpts from an on-line encyclopedia I found after arguing this subject with a Retired Navy Chief friend: -----Originally organized as the Continental Marines on November 10, 1775 as -----The modern Army had its roots in the Continental Army which was formed on June 14, 1775, -----This was not carried out until October 13 1775, when George Washington announced that he had taken command of three armed schooners under Continental authority to intercept any British supply ships near Massachusetts. With the revelation that vessels were already sailing under Continental control, the decision to add two more was made easier; the resolution was adopted and October 13 would later become known as the United States Navy's official birthday. I had asked my Navy buddy why, if not the oldest service, the Marine Corps always led in a military parade. His answer, "If we don't let them go first, they'll cry."

Mustang Dutch White said:   January 20th, 2009 7:35 pm

Great idea, just as long as we can also transfer over all those Navy blue aviation dollars into our olive drab aircraft on the Air Wing side of the house. Semper Fi, Dutch (1958-1985) 

Wiley Clapp said:   January 20th, 2009 2:04 pm

You're crazy. The farther we get from the navy, the quicker we will be merged with the army. And when in hell did it get to be "briefs" and not "skivvies?" 

GI said:   January 20th, 2009 2:20 pm

Anthony, Marines' ability to improvise is legendary; taking a cell phone and turning it into a vibrating sex toy is noteworthy. As for renaming it seems the term "Don" or "DON" may refer to: - Don (honorific), a Spanish, Portuguese and Italian title, given as a mark of respect - Don, a crime boss - DON, the Department of the Navy, a part of the United States Department of Defense So in keeping with the above, may I suggest "MAGTF DON" for the Marine Corps and Navy re-naming contest. Most fitting I think in light of the Butter Cutter comment ref same...and consider this: "Don" Juan and BC's vibrating skeevy cell ...pretty sexy name....MAGTF DON S/f GI

Jock Craig said:   January 20th, 2009 4:01 pm

This puts the idea just where it ought to stay: a zany idea just like the "vibrator" idea. Way to go, Butter-cutter!

Jerry Turley said:   January 22nd, 2009 9:37 am

My concern is the bucks. We are an Amphibious Corps....agree or not, that is our history, that is our mission. Does anyone there think the money for ampibious ships will take on a higher priority from the Navy' perspective?? I think not. My point is we need for that very reason need to be part of the Naval Establishment. Face it, we have had a hard enough time over the years being heard and receiving the right priority for funding as it is. It will get worse if we become separate. Semper Concerned....Jerry Turley 

Dino(saur) said:   January 22nd, 2009 3:16 pm

All this so easily gets beyond my comprehension - because I decided in 1996 to again be full-time in the workforce??? To the quick - none of this 'Departments of' is in my vocabulary ... Instead how about USA, USAF, USCG, USMC, USN, and USSF - My latest real significance? In 1998 development of ASDS (= Advanced SEAL Delivery System), to deliver others as well as SEALS, I reckon. Of course, knowing who all has been delivered is far beyond my paygrade.