17 February 2009

The Butter-Cutter On The Presidents' Day Sales

Entering the virtual Mess Hall, I was sure the spring-like weather and the Presidents' Day long weekend would have a positive effect on The Butter-Cutter's disposition. That preconception was shattered as I neared the Chow Line, “BULL SHIT! BULL SHIT! BULL SHIT! All just a bunch o' BULL SHIT!” he shouted to my surprise. “What is wrong?” I asked.

“What's wrong? What's wrong? All them ads lied . . . more media BULL SHIT!” he answered.

“I don't understand. Please explain how the media . . . lied?” 

“Yesterday! Yesterday, a bunch o' us went out fer the Presidents' Day sales like the ads said 'n' it was all BULL SHIT! There weren't no Presidents' Sale!” The Butter-Cutter barked back.

“Yes, there were. I went out and found a number of things on sale and, in fact, did quit well in a number of purchases,” I said in response.

“Oh, yeah? Who'd ya buy?” he asked.

“Who? I didn't buy a 'who.' I bought things not a person!”

“There ya go!” he answered. “There weren't NO presidents on sale like the ads said! It was all BULL SHIT BULL SHIT! BULL SHIT!” he responded with growing irritation.

“What? You thought presidents were on sale on 'Presidents' Day?' ” I asked in disbelief. 

“Man, what do I know? The ads said 'Presidents' Day SALE.' OK? That means they were supposed ta be sellin' presidents!” 

“That is stupid! You don't buy people or presidents in this country! You didn't know that?” I asked with disbelief.

“Maaaan, like always, ya don't get nuthin'! I knew that shit about buyin' people! But, me 'n' my buddies had HOPE! Ya know HOPE? That's what we got when we saw all them ads! HOPE that we could go out 'n' buy a new president before 'Dumbo-Ears' signed that Stimulus Package the DEMONcrats passed last week!” he hammered back at me.

“Demoncrats? How dare you demean elected members of the U.S. Congress by calling them 'Demoncrats!' ” I chastised him.

“I calls 'em the way I sees 'em! How many times I gotta tell ya that? The people were promised two things: 1) a Stimulus Bill, er Package, that would turn the economy around; 'n', 2) the Package would be passed by BOTH parties in Congress. Well, it turns out ta be a STIMULATE DEMONcrats package: the DEMONcrats in Congress got money fer all their pet projects 'n' it was only DEMONcrats that voted fer it!” The Butter-Cutter said. (1)

“Wait a minute. There were three Republican senators that voted for the Stimulus Package,” I again corrected him.

“Well whoop-dee-do! Three line-crossers don't make it a two-party thing. Now, Dumbo-Ears gonna sign that thing inta law today 'n' declare it a huge victory fer the American people. Then, just like his namesake Dumbo in that fairy tale, he's gonna flap them big ears like wings 'n' fly all over the country sweet-talkin' everybody about the wonderful thing he done 'n' how lucky America is ta have him as president.”

“STOP CALLING YOUR COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 'Dumbo-Ears',” I ordered The Butter-Cutter.

“ 'Commander-in-Chief' ya say? Well, I say, 'Commander-in-Change!' Before it was passed, Dumbo-Ears himself said this was gonna be a 'bipartisan' Stimulus Package. Now he's callin' it, 'My Package.' HIS Package? That thing's got over a thousand pages in it! Ya think he read all them pages ta see what this money was being spent on? HELL NO he didn't! All he wanted ta know was that his DEMONcratic congregation was gonna SPEND, SPEND, 'n' SPEND 'n' they didn't disappoint him: them Obama congregants porked America up ta the last minute before votin' on it by addin' their pet projects with PEN CHANGES in the margins! We went out yesterday HOPIN' them ads were right 'n' HOPIN' we could buy a new president before he signed HIS Package inta law today. Well, we didn't make it 'n' there's more Commander-in-Change shit ta come! Remember what that dude on the left side o' the Chow Line told ya back durin' Obama's campaign, 'When he be prezeedant, the Brother gonna talk sweet 'n' change!' Well, former intelligence officer, that's what he's doin' TODAY 'n' that's what he's gonna do TOMORROW 'n' every day he's president--TALK SWEET 'N' CHANGE!” (2)  

Semper . . . 

Anthony F. Milavic

Major USMC(Ret.)

(1) http://news.stimuluswatch.org/

(2) http://www.thebutter-cutter.com/Obama_s_Change.html

 Waddaya think?

sniperbait66 said:   February 17th, 2009 6:25 am

 Once again, the BC has hit the nail right on the head. That Prezydint ain't no Commander in Chief neither. Ya gotta be a cityzen, which he ain't proved yet! Mr. "Transparency" has lead walls around him to hide his shenanigans. That is a lying SOB. Mr. B. Sotero has so many aliases, he doesn't know whether he's a Commie or a Muslim. He damned sure isn't a Christian! We are in deep Kimchi here, and NOW. We are headed for eight or ten years of DEEP DARK DEPRESSION, with you and I getting very much poorer, and those Royalists in the Administration getting far beyond wealthier. We've been screwed for Trillions in the last 18 months. It isn't going to stop until WE put a stop to it. Want to know why Faculty and Cadets are dying? Because when given the questionnaire that asked if they would be OK with killing Americans who refuse to give up their Constitutionally legal weapons, they answered NO! Same with the Troops coming home and "killing" themselves. They said NO! as well. Bet me.

Chester Arthur.... http://tinyurl.com/agj92k

Robert Osborne said:   February 17th, 2009 7:26 am

 He is our President Whether we like it or not (not like) and we have to respect the office. The Porkulus Bill is just that the Porkulus Bill and will only drive us deeper into recession. all we can do is work harder to change Congress in 2010. Vote Conservative.

Dick Gaines said:   February 17th, 2009 7:38 am

 Ain't like he's the only ONE ever accused of not being an American! There is that curious case of 

Madelien said:   February 17th, 2009 7:57 am

 Our country is falling apart . the HIGHER UPS can't even work together to help the people here . So concerned about Foreign aid & their welfare . They don't seem concerned until it hits their own back yards . We are headed for another DEPRESSION .We are in WAY TOO DEEP this time around . LIstening to our new president speak . Is not reassurring . you can see in his face that he iss overwhelmed & lost . Having no backing in Congress doesn't help . This country needs to work as a TEAM with the COMMON GOAL of ALL OUR PEOPLE not just for those who can afford to sit back & wait on a fast FIX.

Pam (Typical White Person) said:   February 17th, 2009 1:36 pm

 Major, This is soooooooo true. This is my first visit and I like what I see. Marines Rock. We need a few good men on the Hill. There is no question regarding your loyalities. God, Country, Corps. At least that's how it was when I took my first sand crab job in Albany, GA. Keep bringing it to us.

Dutch White said:   February 17th, 2009 6:42 pm

 This pork laden bill that the house and senate just passed, and that Barry signed off on today, is nothing more nor less than a pay-back package for all the people, organizations, unions, gays, and socialist 'movements' (acorn, etc) that put Mr. Sotero in the oval office. Barry asked for the chance to dance, received permission, and now he is in the process of paying off all the various 'band members' that played the songs that got him elected. Woe is us ....

Grump Wilbur GySgt Ret said:   February 17th, 2009 9:26 pm

 Like they told us way back you are supposed to respect the rank. You don't have to respect what is wearing the rank. That still works in my book and that book is now 72 years young. Semper Fi Gunny Grump

AM said:   February 18th, 2009 4:32 pm

 The president is now saying the "Stimulus" Thing will create AND "SAVE" 3.5 miliion jobs. Previously he said the "Stimulus Bill" would CREATE 3.5 million jobs. The BC was right the president is "gonna talk sweet 'n' CHANGE." How many MORE changes should we expect?

Themsc said:   February 20th, 2009 2:51 pm

Pity some of that pork in the so-called stimulus packege - and the quasi CINC - doesn't make its way to the muslime bastards. Good riddance to bad rubbish! And, keep your powder dry!

John Asbery said:   February 20th, 2009 6:32 pm

Anthony you have summed it up well, change it is not. who the hell knows what will happen, but it is not going to be good.