31 October 2008

Who Are These Women Who Denigrate Gov. Palin?

Major Anthony F. Milavic,
Major, United States Marine Corps, (Retired)

This female curiosity was first reported to the MILINET list on 27 May 1997. It is being posted again to provide insight into those who previously claimed to be champions of women's rights and are now vociferously denigrating Gov. Sarah Palin with sexist epithets.


Years ago, the Oscar-winning actress, Katherine Hepburn, was interviewed on the TV magazine show “Sixty Minutes.” When questioned as to what she thought of the very vocal feminists, she answered, “The FACHOS?” Confused, she was asked what she meant by, “FACHOS?” "Men who act like that are called 'MACHOS'; so, the female equivalent must be 'FACHOS,' " she explained. Though a lucid observation by a pioneer of women's rights, I was still unsure if I would know one when I saw one. Over the years, however, I have met a number of FACHOS and now believe that I'm quite adept at identifying them. Since the behavior of these recently surfaced anti-Palin women is suggestive of FACHOS, I would like to share my insights should you inadvertently encounter one in the gutter, under your desk, or while going through your garbage. In the event you do, I strongly suggest that you don't feed the FACHO for she is programmed to bite your hand. 

You know you've met a FACHO, if she . . .  

. . . wants seats installed on urinals to permit gender-neutral usage.

. . . claims it was the saltpeter in the Air Force food that made her do it.

. . . wears two athletic supporters as a brassier.

. . . uses a prie-Dieu when watching Hillary on TV.

. . . wears an athletic cup in her Spandex tights when leading aerobics classes. 

. . . calls her companion “FACHA.”

. . . wears camouflage green and brown grease paint instead of mascara and blush.

. . . has a vertical six-inch zipper on the front-center of her kilt.

. . . plays recordings of Eleanor Clift diatribes while meditating in the Lotus position.

. . . believes Eve was the first assertive FACHO and the serpent was created by a sexist God to discredit her.

. . . thinks that Victoria's Secret is that she is really Victor.

. . . believes the Venus de Milo statue is a self-sculpture of an abused woman.

. . . opens FACHO wailing seminars by showing the Patricia Schroeder video: “Cry Me A River.”

. . . wears boxer shorts rather than panties to enhance her sperm count.

. . . thinks the Trojan Horse is a MACHO man condom fantasy.

. . . searches Lovelorn classifieds for a gender-neutral partner.

. . . considers masturbation un-safe sex because the condom keeps falling off her finger.

. . . stands in the door-way on Halloween wearing a BSA den-mother's uniform to frighten off “trick-or-treaters.”

. . . wears a 3-piece bathing suit to the beach: bottom and two appliqué arrows labeled “pectorals.”

. . . after scoring the winning goal in a soccer game, she throws off her jersey revealing no sports bra--there are no           bras for pectorals.

Semper FACHO-Aware,

Anthony F. Milavic

Major USMC (Ret.)