!CAUTION! YOU ARE IN A "VERBAL SHRAPNEL" RICH DOMAIN
YOU ARE IN A "VERBAL SHRAPNEL" RICH DOMAIN
3 February 2009
The Butter-Cutter On Flag Officers Using Facebook & YouTube
Referring to my last encounter with The Butter-Cutter, I asked, “Do you still have that cell phone in your skivvies?”
“Nah. Can't get away with that anymore; the Mess Sergeant is friskin' us when we come ta work. A week ago, a bunch o' guys got together 'n' called everybody on the Chow Line at once. Maan, it was freaky! All the servers dropped their spoons, tongs, forks 'n' whatever as they fell ta the deck--the whole freakin' line went down! The Mess Sergeant started ta scream; the Chow Hounds in the Mess Hall fell off their seats laughing; 'n' the callers tried ta photograph the whole thing with their cell phone cameras! IT WAS WILD!”
“What did they hope to do with the pictures?” I asked in bewilderment.
“Them Motherf***ers were gonna put it on YouTube. But, the Mess Sergeant smelled a rat 'n' had the MPs shake 'em down 'n' confiscate the phones.”
“That's coincidental,” I said. “I'm here to ask you about a report that a number of general and flag officers are using Facebook and YouTube to communicate with their commands.” *
“Why they doin' that?" The Butter-Cutter asked.
“Reportedly, a number of flag officers think this is the best way to keep pace with the plugged-in, hyper-connected charges they lead,” I explained.
“ 'Hyper-connected charges?' Who the f*** are they? Do YOU see a computer on this Chow Line? How many grunts got computers with them in the field?” he retorted.
“Well, maybe they don't have computers with them, but many have Blackberrys, IPhones and other smart phones or PDAs with which they can access the internet,” I corrected him. “Let us not forget your own cell phone caper and all those who were involved with you. Evidently, a lot of junior Marines are connected,” I said.
“OK! OK! Yeah, we're connected; but, we ain't goin' ta Facebook 'n' YouTube ta see what the general has fer us each day. Them phones 'n' shit are fer hittin' on girls 'n' gettin' laid not fer lisenin' ta Spear Chuckers. When push comes ta shove, we gotta do whatever they say anyhow, so why bother with all the whys 'n' wherefores,” The Butter-Cutter explained.
“Well, I don't agree with you. I think there are a lot of junior Marines who are very interested in the rationales for their leaders' decisions. Today's Marines are not robots but thinking men and women who are better motivated to do their assigned tasks when fully informed and this initiative is a great way to keep them informed,” I countered.
“Oh, BULL SHIT! You've been retired too long 'n' maybe now yer freakin' retarded! What the f*** d'ya think corporals, sergeants, lieutenants, captains, majors, 'n' so on are fer? These general officer Spear Chuckers don't trust these guys anymore ta pass the word? They gotta do it themselves? OK! Let's do some cost cuttin' 'n' get rid o' all them guys between us Snuffies 'n' the generals! That'll be the freakin' day! That means them hoity-toity generals will have ta get their hands dirty 'n' even get shot at! No f***in' way!” The Butter-Cutter lectured me with ever increasing passion.
“Before you go too far with you condemnation, the article I read did NOT mention any Marine flag officer involved in this initiative. Be that as it may, I do not think these officers are trying to minimize the subordinate officers in their commands.”
“Ya don't, huh? Well, how about an over-active ego? Ya think maybe they got one o' them over-active egos 'n' they just like ta hear themselves talk?” he asked before breaking out in laughter.
“Oh my goodness. There you go again trying to turn a serious conversation into an exercise in cheap shots,” I said. “I would prefer we maintain civility here.”
“ 'Civility' ya want? Well, I don't know what that shit is; but, I do know Bull Shit when I smells it, 'n' this is ALL Bull Shit. This ain't about informin' the troops. This is about turnin' leadership inta VIRTUAL LEADERSHIP. These Spear-Chuckers are sittin' in their heated er air-conditioned offices chuckin' out words ta the field while their Snuffies freeze, sweat, get soaked er get shot er whatever. Ya wanna lead me? Then come on down ta where I am 'n' LEAD ME! Once upon a time, it was called, 'Leadership By Example' er 'Leading From The Front.' I just call it LEADERSHIP 'n' it don't need changin'!”
“Your tutorial on leadership . . .”
Cutting me off, The Butter-Cutter added, “I'll tell ya what; I'm gonna give 'em a chance ta really lead AND be on the internet: Get one o' them generals ta come ta this Mess Hall 'n' we'll do a video fer YouTube titled, 'GENERAL LEADS HIS CHARGES IN GROUP CELL PHONE VIBRATING SESSION!' Hey . . . 'n' YOU can call him!”
Semper . . . Leadership,
Anthony F. Milavic
Major USMC (Ret.)