YOU ARE IN A "VERBAL SHRAPNEL" RICH DOMAIN
1 July 2008
The Butter-Cutter On CMC Interview
“The Commandant was interviewed on 25 May 2008 by Vago Muradian of This Week in Defense News and I'd like to hear your reaction to some of the points he made,” I said to The Butter-Cutter as he poked at pats of butter floating around in a bowl of ice water with a fork. *
“Did he say that he was comin' here ta the virtual mess hall, so I could talk to him about 'Once A Marine, Always a Marine'? “ he retorted.
“No. This interview happened before I posted your invitation. In any case, the first thing I'd like to bring up is that Gen. Conway said the Corps needs to get back to its 'expeditionary mentality,' “ I related.
“Wadda's that mean?” the Butter-Cutter wanted to know.
“Well he thinks Marines are living too good in Iraq and Afghanistan. He said they are sleeping on cots and getting about three square meals a day,” I told him.
“That's bad?” he asked in jerking his head up.
“The CMC thinks living like that doesn't develop the 'expeditionary mentality' that Marines need to operate effectively in an austere environment,“ I tried to explain.
“BULL SHIT! If that was true, why do we live in barracks 'n' eat three squares a day in the States? If that kinda livin' screws up our expeditionary mentality then we ain't bein' trained right in the States 'n' shouldn't be sent on them expeditions to Iraq, Afghanistan, 'n' wherever! Anyhow, over there in Iraq, ya sleep on the deck 'n' ya got camel spiders, poisonous snakes, scorpions, 'n' whatever crawlin' all over ya. Man, they got some seven different kinds o' scorpions over there! What does he want us ta do, get stung by them suckers 'n' wind up in Sick Bay 'n' outta action? Yeah, sure, I'll bet he didn't sleep on the deck when he was over there! That's more o' that, 'Do as I say 'n' not as I do' shit!” The Butter-Cutter complained.
“The Commandant also said, 'the Marine Corps is not manned or trained or equipped to do' nation building. He . . .”
“SPOT ON!” the Butter-Cutter shouted as he cut me off. “Finally, somebody is sayin' the obvious! Now, he's gotta get that message to the civilian Spear Chuckers,” he said while thrusting a fist into the air.
Smiling, I said, “Well, I'm happy to hear that you agree with the CMC on something. He also said that he would like to turn the nation building role over to those who have a better capability at it.”
“That's easy, give it to the professional suck-asses-the State Department 'n' the Peace Corps. They . . .”
“Hold on,” I jumped in saying. “They're neither trained nor equipped to function in that role.”
“Reveille!” The Butter-Cutter barked out. “Like Gen. Conway said, we ain't either, but we got the mission. Them guys, especially the Peace Corps, have been building shit by kissin' ass for years. It's time somebody told them ta live up ta their name 'n' MAKE PEACE! Also, the State Department is supposed ta know all about governments; so, ya put 'em together 'n' ya got The Peace-State Team for nation building-How's that fer a PC warm fuzzy name off the top o' my head?” he said and then broke out in laughter.
I gritted my teeth, then spurted out, “How will they protect themselves? They're neither trained in nor equipped with fire arms.”
“HOLY HOPPIN' SNOT!” he bemoaned. “Yer not listenin': Not bein' trained or equipped in somethin' didn't keep the Corps from bein' told ta do nation buildin'! First off, train them to use guns; if they're too afraid o' guns ta learn, they can hire some o' them Blackwaters er whoever ta protect themselves,” he said.
“All that takes too much time and . . .”
“Oh, stop!” The Butter-Cutter said on interjecting. “I was just shittin' ya. Security 'n' such ain't got nuttin' ta do with them not bein' sent ta do nation buildin'. Shit! A bunch of them State Department Foggy Assholes refused ta go ta Iraq ta work in the freakin' Green Zone. There's no way yer gonna get them to go out inta Indian Country ta work with the Hajjis! They're like them fancy Rolex watches they wear: 21-jewel self-windin' pussies! Fer better er fer worse, it's only Marines 'n' other DoD types who have the balls, discipline, 'n' can-do attitude ta take on any job; 'n', that's why the civilian Spear Chuckers are gonna keep chuckin' us into this shit 'n' not them.”
Semper . . . sigh,
Anthony F. Milavic
Major USMC (Ret.)